How to Confess to an Idiot
by 61wisampa
Summary: Because Touma is so dense that it would take two juniors, Fukiyose, a chibi Magic God, Index biting him on the head and Accelerator telling him how stupid he is to realize that Mikoto likes him.


**Disclaimer: I don't own To Aru, and unfortunately, I don't own a TARDIS either T-T**

* * *

**How to Confess to an Idiot**

Mikoto's hand shook as she pressed the button for Coconut cider on the vending machine. The can she had just purchased made a _clunk _as the machine spat it out. She swiftly took the can in her hands, struggling to open it as her whole body began to tremble.

"C-calm down, Misaka Mikoto," she told herself, clenching her fist, "Y-y-you can do t-this! You are the t-third strongest Level 5! There's nothing you couldn't do!" She took a deep breath, muttering more encouraging words to herself.

This was it. After mustering up every bit of courage in her system, she was finally going to do it. She had to be calm. She had to direct. She had to be honest. Because today...

...she'll finally confess to him.

Her cheeks promptly exploded at the thought. She gulped down the contents of the can that she somehow managed to open. She needed more time to compose herself, more time to—

"Oi, Biribiri!"

...the universe hated her...

"It's Misaka Mikoto! Remember it at least once, you idiot!" she replied in reflex, but thankfully, she was able to hold back her ability and stopped herself from frying him.

He just laughed as he jogged towards her, "Right, Misaka. Anyway, why'd you ask me to meet you here? Is there something you need me for?"

Her brain immediately short-circuited. Why had she called him again?

"U-uhm... that is..." shaking her head as her face continued to heat up, she managed to stutter out, "A-actually, there's s-something I-I want to t-t-tell y-you..."

"What is it?"

"I-I..." She looked at him and saw his eyes staring straight back at her. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

He blinked at her, waiting. Her gaze was stuck with his and she was unable to look away. She took a small staggering breath, trying to push the words out...

...and she promptly exploded.

"Gyaaah! I can't do it! I can't do it! It's way too embarrassing! I'm going to die in embarrassment!" she exclaimed, crouching down as she held her head and turned her face away from him. The pressure was too much that it was making her brain jumbled. She couldn't think straight. And her vocabulary seemed to have shrunk to a pea in the process.

"Oi, Misaka. You alright? Your face is really red."

...well, not that that idiot ever had an impressive vocabulary in the first place...

But that wasn't the point! Three words. All she had to say were three simple words and yet, she found herself struggling with her voice box, mentally chastising her damned larynx to just freakin' do it's job and _say it._

She promptly stood again and faced him, forcing her blush down in futile effort. She had to do it. This was her chance.

_'Don't mess this up. Don't be weird. Don't be violent. Don't mess this up...' _she chanted in her mind like broken recorder.

"I-I l-l-li-li... l-l-like..." she stammered. And as last resort, she closed her eyes and just blurted the words out.

"I like you!"

…

There was terrifying silence after her outburst, and she waited with bated breath for his reply.

"I'm glad to hear that then," she heard him reply happily. She looked up at him to see his smiling face, "I like you too, Misaka."

She felt her heart soar...

"You're a really good friend."

...and promptly crash into the ground...

The dense idiot continued in his rambling, "I'm pretty surprised you actually admitted that to me. Hehe. And here I thought you were a dishonest tsundere. I must be a very important friend if you actually told me that, eh, Misaka?"

"You..."

He stopped at her growl, sensing danger coming off from her in the form of dancing blue sparks, "...Eh? Misaka-sama... did I say something wrong...?"

"You..." she shot him a glare before screaming and performing her signature vending machine kick on him, "YOU DAMN IDIOT!"

"SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

* * *

Okay, maybe she should've expected that. I mean, she tells people she likes them too in a completely friendly manner. But if she had gone with the _L word_ instead, she didn't think she would be able to stay conscious during the whole ordeal.

So now, she had to be clearer. Because this time, she'll definitely get her feelings across to him.

This time for real.

"Yo, Misaka. How've you been? Haven't seen you in days." he greeted with a smile.

_'That's because you traumatized my heart when I confessed, and I needed time to recover.' _she thought but instead said, "Y-yeah, I've been busy."

"I see. So what do you want to talk to me about this time?" he asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder as they began to walk around the park. The action had seemed a lot more attractive than it should've in Mikoto's eyes, and she was sure that her eyes were playing a trick on her when she saw his movements in slow motion and bathed in sunlight.

...that, or the universe just loved to mess with her feelings.

"A-actually... it has something to do with l-last time."

"Hm? Ah, you mean when you said you like me?"

She blushed at this and nodded, unable to reply with words.

"Does it also have something to do with what I did that got you mad?" he questioned and she nodded again, "What is it then?"

"The truth is... what I m-meant that time was..." she stopped, prompting him halt his steps as well. She faced him fully and directed her gaze at the ground, "I-I w-wanted to a-ask if you w-would..." she took a deep breath and let it out, "Would go out with me?"

…

...okay, deja vu. Not a good sign...

"...but we're already outside."

...she really should've known.

"T-that's not what I meant!" she told him, trying desperately to save the situation, "I m-mean... what I meant was... go out on... on a d-d-date..."

"You're asking me to go out on a date with you?" he clarified.

She blushed even harder but nodded.

"Alright then," he said, and her face immediately lit up—"Do you have another stalker you needed to shake off?" he asked, looking around for said stalker.

"W-what? N-no! That's not it!"

"Oh, so is there someone you want to reject? You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend to stop him from trying to ask you out, huh?"

She felt like she wanted to cry. How dense could this idiot be?

"Ugh! You stupid block-headed IDIOT!" she screamed at him before running away.

His worried cries calling after her were the last thing she heard from him.

* * *

"I give up," she announced with a defeated expression, slumping down on the table where her friends were seated.

It was supposed to be a graduation party for Touma and Accelerator's batch, hosted by Komoe-sensei and Yomikawa-sensei themselves. She wasn't sure how it happened, but on that idiot's second year in high school, Yomikawa-sensei was somehow able to force Accelerator to return to school. And what better school to put him in than the one Yomikawa-sensei works at?

A big chunk of their group of friends attended, mostly Touma and Accelerator's classmates. Fukiyose-senpai was one of them, sitting in the same table as Mikoto. The incoming freshmen like Uiharu-san and Saten-san were there as well, seeing as they're close friends of one of the graduating class—though Kuroko wasn't as she was stuck doing Judgement paperwork. Even Othinus and Index were there, the latter returning to Academy City for about a week to visit the idiot. Touma and some other classmates haven't arrived though.

Othinus, or as Mikoto liked to tease her Kami-chibi, raised an eyebrow as she drank from her doll sized cup, "Give up on what, Sparky?"

Mikoto glared at her, but it didn't really hold much malice. If you would ask the Kami-chibi, it looked more like the Level 5 was pouting but Othinus refused to voice that out loud, preferring to act indifferent else the girl electrocuted her.

The Electromaster grumbled unhappily at the Kami-chibi sitting elegantly on top of the table and beside Index's drink. "Don't call me Sparky, Kami-chibi." she said at which Othinus merely shrugged.

"What's the matter, Misaka-san?" Saten-san asked worriedly across from her. She tilted her head slightly to glance at her long haired friend, seeing Uiharu-san beside her.

"I..." she started, pushing herself up to a proper sitting position before looking at the girls surrounding her, "I confessed to him."

Every pair of eyes at the table widened.

Fukiyose-senpai, who had been sitting beside her, patted her (painfully) on the back, "I knew you could do it, Misaka-chan! You finally put a leash on that flirt."

Index, who had long withdrawn from their competition for the idiot's heart, nodded approvingly, "Good work, Tanpatsu! Touma needs someone who can train him well!"

"Shh! Stop talking, guys. We need to ask what happened first!" Saten-san interrupted before anyone else could say anything more, not even commenting on how Touma had been compared to a dog. "So? What happened when you told him, Misaka-san? Did you kiss?"

Uiharu-san seemed to have been affected by the long haired girl beside her and asked excitedly, "And how did Kamijou-san react?"

Mikoto found herself being stared at by five pairs of eyes, and she sighed. "Sorry to disappoint, guys, but he didn't get it."

There was a confused silence around the table as the girls comprehended what her words actually meant.

It was Othinus who had processed it first, muttering with a snort, "Stupid human,"

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Saten-san was the next, "You mean... he _didn't _get it?" Mikoto gave her an exasperated look, "What did you do, send him a code or something?"

"Maybe he just misunderstood you, Misaka-san," Uiharu-san stated.

Mikoto looked like she had just lost a contest that has rare Gekota merchandise as prizes, "What part of 'I like you' and 'Will you go out on a date with me?' can be misunderstood?!"

Fukiyose-senpai suddenly stood up, attracting the girls' attention, "It looks like Kamijou still needs a little more learning," she pronounced solemnly, "I shall take it as my responsibility to _teach him a lesson_."

"Ah! W-wait, Fukiyose-senpai! You don't need to do that!"

The rest watched as the older girl walked off with the Electromaster trying in vain to stop her from finding and murdering the love of Mikoto's life. Mikoto didn't like shocking her friends (with the exception of Kuroko, and that idiot that she didn't want to stay merely as friends with) but she almost did with Fukiyose-senpai as reason and physically holding her back didn't seem to work. Thankfully, when Mikoto told the older girl that she'd punish that idiot herself, Fukiyose-senpai settled down and returned to their seats.

"Touma really is an idiot," Index stated as she glanced sympathetically at the Level 5.

"Have you tried anything else, Misaka-san?" Saten-san asked.

"I highly doubt anything else would work," Othinus commented.

Mikoto glared at the Kami-chibi for a second before ignoring her and answering the other girl, "What else could I do? Telling him I l-like him," she stuttered, blushing a little, "was embarrassing enough. What do I have to do? Send out aerobatic planes and have them write_ 'Kamijou Touma will you be my boyfriend?'_ in smoke trails?"

A new voice snorted, "Like hell that'd work,"

Saten-san turned to her side and exclaimed, "Accelerator!"

Accelerator suddenly appeared, standing and leaning on Saten-san's chair with a half-finished cup of beer in his hand. "That hero is as dull as one could get. I bet he'd think it was a typographical error or something."

Mikoto scowled at the newcomer, "Oh, and who asked for your opinion?"

"I think we should at least hear him out, Misaka-san," Saten-san said, stopping the possible argument before it began. Mikoto silently cursed at the fact that her friend liked the Number 1 (bastard) in Academy City. "I mean, he did spend the most time with Kamijou-san in school."

Accelerator smirked smugly at her and she merely grumbled.

"As I was saying," Accelerator continued, "Subtlety won't work with that small brain of his. He's not gonna get it."

"I _wasn't _even being subtle! At all!" Mikoto protested.

Her complaints went ignored, "No matter what you say to him, he's gonna misunderstand it one way or another," the albino continued, "Hell, even if you ask him to marry you he'd probably think there's a marriage booth somewhere and you just wanted a go."

Mikoto was disheartened at the fact that everyone at their table seemed to have agreed at the bastard's assertion, but grudgingly acknowledged that he was probably right.

"What do you suggest then?" Saten-san asked, leaning a little too close to the bastard.

"Shove your tongue down his throat," he said, and it seemed like only she and Uiharu-san were the ones who blushed, "Let's see if he won't get it after that."

Mikoto stared at him for a long moment, contemplating if he really was being serious. She shook her head, scolding herself for actually considering his absurd proposition. Though she _was _running out of options. "And if he _still_ doesn't get it?" she asked, because after everything she's tried, she actually needed a back up plan.

He thought for a moment before saying, "Strip in front of him." She blushed again. "Push your boobs against his chest and then make out with him again. If that doesn't work, he's a lost cause."

There was a blur of movement and Mikoto only realized what was happening when something slammed onto their table, miraculously missing all the drinks. It seemed like it was Accelerator who had been shoved in front of them, but what made her eyes widen was Saten-san who was holding the boy by the collar, half-straddling him on the table. They all watched in fascination as the girl looked at him with determination before, as Accelerator had so delicately put it, shoving her tongue down his throat.

Mikoto barely registered the fact that everyone in the room was looking at the couple making out on their table. She was still a little too shocked that her friend actually did it.

After a long—very _very long—_moment, Saten-san pulled back to let themselves breathe.

The first words that came out of Accelerator's mouth was, "The_ fuck_ was—"

"Tsk, not working, huh?" Saten-san mumbled before proceeding to unbutton her shirt from the top downwards, making Mikoto choke on air.

Accelerator seemed to have realized what was happening and immediately grabbed both of Saten-san's hands and said while—and Mikoto never thought this would happen—he blushed, "I get it, damn it! I like you too!"

"Yay! I've got a boyfriend now~" Saten-san announced as she threw her arms around the boy she was still straddling, making the crowd erupt with cheers.

Mikoto continued to watch in awe as the new couple reseated themselves, still enormously surprised that it actually worked. But since the universe seemed to love playing with her, it was at that moment that the Delta Force, aka Aogami Pierce, Tsuchimikado Motoharu and _Kamijou Touma_, came.

She instantly threw herself on the table, hiding her head in vain using her arms, "He's here!" she whispered harshly, "_Ohmygosh, he's here! _The universe hates me!"

"You have to do it, Tanpatsu!" Index announced beside her, "If you don't do it, you'll have more rivals when he finally enters college!"

"You can do it, Misaka-san!" Uiharu-san also encouraged.

"Just go and claim that idiot as yours!" Fukiyose-senpai once again patted her back.

Othinus merely drank from her cup again and told her with a bored voice, "You're doing him a favor. I assure you."

Mikoto stole a glance at the quickly approaching idiot before shifting her gaze at the new happy couple. Saten-san was enjoying the proximity of linking arms with Accelerator and though the ever present scowl was still on the albino's face, there was still an undeniable blush in his cheeks, betraying what he truly felt.

Seeing the successful result, Mikoto felt her spirit gather, "Quick! Liquid courage!"

Most of the people on the table were minors so the only alcoholic beverage within reach was Accelerator's half-finished cup. Saten-san wasted no time handing it to the Electromaster, and Mikoto didn't even consider who's cup it could've been, chugging the beer down her throat.

At that moment, Touma arrived at the table, "Yo, guys. How's it—"

He was cut off when Mikoto promptly pinned him against the nearest wall and boldly kissed him.

It was her first kiss, but though she didn't have any experience, their awkward kiss became more comfortable after a few tries. Swallowing down her embarrassment, she pushed her tongue into his mouth, enticing his to join her.

It was the best first kiss she could ever dream of and after the whole ordeal, her face was flushed as she looked expectantly at him.

He had a dumb shocked expression on his face as he stuttered out, "M-Misaka... what was..."

Her eyes narrowed at him before she began to unbutton her own shirt, the same way that Saten-san had done.

"Whoa, what the—hey!" Touma stopped her at the third button, her chest still safely covered, "Misaka, what are you doing? Are you drunk?"

She frowned at him, "I'm not drunk!"

"That's what you say when you're drunk too," he said, dismissing her response. She gaped at him, still in disbelief that the plan _didn't work_. He cradled her cheeks between his hands, studying her face, "Your face looks really flushed, and you tasted like beer. Probably why you kissed me too. Who gave you alcohol?"

That's it. He's a hopeless cause.

"DAMN IT! WHY ARE YOU SO _STUPID?!_" she screamed in frustration, tangling her fingers through her hair before promptly running away.

He held his hand out towards her in an attempt to stop her from leaving, "Hey, wait! Misaka, you shouldn't—!"

"Touma..."

He froze as a menacing voice reached his ears, "U-uhm... Index-san? D-did I do something wrong?"

"Touma..." Index, with her eyes glowing red, glared at him before pouncing, "TOUMA!"

"Gaaaah! Wait, Index-san! Kamijou-san just graduated high school! Shouldn't you congratulate me instead of biting me?!"

"Touma, you stupid dense block-headed idiot!"

"What did I do?! Such misfortuuuuuunnnnneee!"

* * *

The ordeal lasted for a few moments and it was only because of Uiharu offering a plate of food did Index release Kamijou from her deadly fangs.

Touma sat on the chair Mikoto had vacated, rubbing the bite marks on his head, "Damn it. First, the girl I like kisses me while she's drunk before promptly running away. And now Index is biting me again? Such misfortune..."

Everyone in the table perked up at his words.

Fukiyose began to look murderous, "Kamijou..."

Saten-san intervened before anything could start, "Kamijou-san... did you just say you like Misaka-san?"

He looked at her with a small blush, "Well, yeah, isn't it obvious? But she's been running away from me lately... is she mad at me?"

Accelerator looked at him dead-panned, "She just kissed you, you fucking idiot. Why didn't you make a move on her?"

Touma looked disapproving, "She's drunk. Why would I take advantage of her?"

Saten's palm connected with her face while the others had varying expressions of disbelief.

"Kamijou-san," Saten spoke up, giving him a serious look, "Misaka-san wasn't drunk."

There was a short silence.

"Penny in the air," Othinus commented as she watched the events unfold.

"But..." Touma stared back at Saten with a confused expression, "I tasted beer..."

"The third rate had half of this," Accelerator slammed his cup down in front of the idiot, looking at him dryly, "Not even the flowerhead would get drunk that easily."

"A-accelerator-san!" Uiharu protested weakly.

Realization began to creep into Touma's face.

"Penny drops," Othinus finished, smiling a little as Touma looked frantically at the direction Mikoto had ran towards before he looked back at his friends in horror.

"Oh shit."

And with that, he promptly left, pushing through the crowd in amazing speed and exiting the apartment.

Saten sighed in content. "Well, that was eventful."

"The idiot's still way too stupid though." Accelerator stated and the others couldn't help but agree.

"He'd better be with Misaka-chan when I see him again or I'll see to it that he's thoroughly punished," Fukiyose growled.

Index nodded in assent, "Touma needs to be punished."

Uiharu nervously laughed, "I'm beginning to be really worried for Kamijou-san's life now..."

With an amused smile, Othinus finished her drink and added in an amused voice, "Who knew it would be this difficult to confess to an idiot?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

...okay, this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever written XDDD does this count as a crack fic?

This fic was inspired largely by the story** Oblivious by Aryndiel**. check it out if you're interested :))

**I LOVE Othinus**, if might say so myself.** But I HATE Othinus X Touma shippers who does nothing else but trash talk Kamikoto or worse, Mikoto herself**. Please guys,** remember to be respectful of other ships. You can dislike something and be nice about it.** Plus, not supporting a certain ship doesn't equate to hating the character in that ship. Why don't people get that?

As a reminder:** If you trash talk someone's ship and they kill you, it's your fault.**

Anyways, I can totally see Othinus, Index and Mikoto getting along because of Touma being such an idiot XDDD plus, who doesn't like a pocket sized Magic God? :3 yep, they're gonna be good friends hahaha!

I'm slowly trying to infect my readers to start shipping AccelXSaten XDDD tell one day when I finally succeed haha!

**"Penny in the air... Penny drops."** plus ten points to those who know where I got that XD

**Any grammatical errors? Typos? Please tell me so I can fix them :))**

To those who are also reading my other stories, I apologize for not updating yet but my life resumes tomorrow and I won't have as much time as I do now. I'll still update occasionally though! that's a promise!

**Hope I'll see you guys again in the future!**

**~61wisampa**


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